Parelli World

Do Horses Lie?

Posted by Jerry on Thursday, December 11th, 2008

Filed in My Parelli World,Parelli Horses | 26 responses so far

26 Responses to “Do Horses Lie?”

1. 

   Sal Landaon 11 Dec 2008 at 4:49 am 1

   Jerry,
   I read your article first!
   Since 85% of horse owners in America are women, your touching story really hit the target audience.
   Your horse reminds me of one of my first teachers. He was an arabian named Assa Kavie. I rescued him after being left loose for a year on 2400 acres in a nearby Seminole Indian reservation. At age 16 he did not adjust to that life and was being pushed around by the rest of the herd. He had bight scars, his mane was dreadlocks, he was very thin, and his hooves were in need of care. We took a 4X4 into the huge pasture. Once we spotted him it was easy to bring him in with food. He was starving to death.
   After weeks of care I started to work him. He was less than cooperative. He tried to be dominant and bit me a few times. I was not very experienced and he was fast. I kept on going back to the DVD’s to get more arrows in my quiver.
   The story is long so I’ll tell you that eventually I was able to ride him with a carrot stick bareback. See us in my web site http://www.horsetamerministry.webs.com as he stands on a pedestal at liberty. Yes, he taught me many lessons. I am forever grateful to him.
   Sal

2. 

   Peggy Finnertyon 11 Dec 2008 at 5:23 am 2

   Awww Bonnie why did you have to put that quote at the end. Now I’m in tears!

   I thought it was beautiful and the photos are terrific. I think I’d have some of the jingling ones blown up and framed. Even the dust looks cool.

   I never met Kahn, but I can see how special he is to you. Thanks for sharing it with us all. He’ll be there waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.

   Peggy Finnerty

3. 

   Elysiaon 11 Dec 2008 at 12:12 pm 3

   Yeah, *sniff* Jerry’s quote got me, too.

   Jerry and Bonnie, your greatest tribute to Khan is that you help others develop their relationship with their horses. A tribute that grows and develps each day in his honor.

   “The love you gave to me, I will carry through eternity.
   Keep me always on your mind, by loving others of my kind.
   Do not linger in your grief…just hold onto this belief…
   That when it’s time for you to come this way…
   I’ll be waiting for you on that day.”

4. 

   leslie chadwellon 11 Dec 2008 at 12:31 pm 4

   The scar! Wow, very powerful. Thanks for sharing. Gives me hope for my break through.

5. 

   ellen carrollon 11 Dec 2008 at 1:16 pm 5

   Dear Jerry,
   Your article in the Savvy Times was so honest and clear! It’s helpful to all of us students to be able to relate and digest others stories and points of views- especially someone as committed as you are. Your partnership with Kahn demonstrated the growth your relationship shared as your communication layers were peeled. You were both lucky to have found one another and I thank you for sharing a story so many can relate to and aspire to.
   Your method of story telling parallels your methods of teaching. The times our Savvy Sister group has been fortunate enough to share a day with you has always been enlightening -peeling layers often going back to the basics with a twist. Fun and often revealing to us all. Rocky and I were once playing the 7 games after your demo and during sideways he came towards me for the first time and continues to since that day! Ellen Carroll

6. 

   Kelleen Simonson 11 Dec 2008 at 1:53 pm 6

   What a beautiful tribute. I teared up at the message at the end, too. I enjoyed the article in Savvy Times too – it was the first one I read when I got – very well written!

7. 

   Jerryon 11 Dec 2008 at 3:17 pm 7

   Thanks everyone for your kind responses. I remember a fellow faculty member saying shortly after he died “when the time comes you will be able to share the story about your relationship with Kahn and it will be an inspiration to others”.

   At the time though my emotions were just too raw. With time comes perspective and with perspective the ability to see clearly. So, I guess the time has come to share.

   Thanks again,

8. 

   Susanon 11 Dec 2008 at 4:36 pm 8

   Thank you so much for sharing that incredibly touching story and tribute. Im still wiping the tears! It reminds me of a horse I once knew when I was 14 and working at a hack stable in Long Island, New York. Her name was Emma and she was an adorable arabian mix. Whenever Emma had had enough of hacking trails, she would come out of the barn on three legs. The customers would see this and of course, no one wanted to ride her. She also was an expert at rolling out on trail and bolting back to the barn as soon as she got up. One day the owner of the barn had had enough with her and kicked her right in her side. It was heart wrenching for me to watch so I begged him to let me push the trail. I would give my horse to the customer and ride emma. I rode her bareback with the thought in mind that when she rolled instead of trying to stop her, I would purposely go to her favorite rolling spot, stop her, get off and invite her to roll. (I was pushing the back of the trail so it wasn’t that big of a deal). Amazingly she did not pull away and try to bolt back to the barn when she was finished with her roll and after that whenever I rode her she always went off on all fours without a single limp. I spent a lot of time with her, just petting her as we rode and whenever I had a spare minute at the barn. I didn’t know what I was doing back then, I just knew I wanted her to understand that I was her friend and in the end, I think she did. Its been years since I’ve thought of Emma, (wiping another tear). Thank you so much for reminding me of her, with your beautiful story.

9. 

   Dancing Pete Roddaon 12 Dec 2008 at 3:01 am 9

   Dear Jerry,

   I think your article was amazing. The parallel of human and horse relationships I believe happens all the time. I also think they happen at the same time. If we go back and remember when we were having issues with our 4 legged partners we are having issues with our 2 legged partners. Thanks Jerry for the insite to see your great teacher was Kahn. I believe he has passed on his classroom to Taz. You and Taz are amazing. I say you and Taz at ranch and I asked you a question about Taz. I think he was teaching then and every time I have seen you 2 together. There is a great book that talks about horse teachers it is called Life Lessons from a Ranch Horse by Mark Rashid.

   YOur Horses’ Friend Always,
   Dancing Pete Rodda

   P.S. Keep taking lessons from your teachers so we can understand all of our teachers and better understand their lessons that they try to teach us.

10. 

    carolyn strickleron 12 Dec 2008 at 11:56 am 10

    What things did you do to improve the relationship?

11. 

    ingrid henigaron 12 Dec 2008 at 4:31 pm 11

    dear jerry

12. 

    ingrid henigaron 12 Dec 2008 at 5:09 pm 12

    dear jerry, i also was thoughtfully effected by Kahn and your love story. mostly i reconized how important trust is in any relationship and without it a lie is reflected, and growth in the relationship will never fully develop. although i understood this on a human level, i now have a clearer understanding on how it reflects in my horse human relationship. i will observe myself and my horses so, i like my horse won’t lie. thank you, bonnie and kahn for this deeper understanding.

13. 

    Anne Knighton 12 Dec 2008 at 5:20 pm 13

    It’s not that they’re lying, they’re just joking. Horses don’t have a moral conscience so lying is not an option. Trying to fool you is.

    My Uncle had a riding stable and we had one horse that would limp when you brought him up in the morning to saddle him, (especially if you were new to him and he thought you would take him seriously), If you didn’t saddle him, then turned him around to head back for his stall, he would walk back sound every time.

    I also had a Haflinger who was put in an auction as an 11yo gelding. (he had only been gelded for a month!~human’s lie), and was extremely independent, pushy, and a jokester. He hated circle game. It took six weeks to get him to do one complete circle. I’m still not sure it was actually complete??. One day I asked for a circle to my left and he walked right off, no snotty look, no taking off 90 mph, no walking slower than a turtle, just did it like “Yes Ma’am!”.

    Well, I was shocked and amazed! Immediately I felt quite proud and thought to myself; “Wow, he’s finally got it and going out as he should.” By the time I finished these thoughts he was about directly behind me. As I brought my right arm back…..GONE! he waited til I was out of eye shot and took off full gallop. He had his tail up and was running around triumphantly and even taunted me by slowing to a trot then a walk AS IF he were coming to be caught then as I would walk up….
    GONE AGAIN. He was LHAO at me and I at him.

    That horse was the MOST entertaining horse I ever had. I could write a book on his antics. So, no, they aren’t capable of lieing, but they are capable of joking. Isn’t herd dynamics a big joke? Most of it’s bravado.

14. 

    Anne Knighton 12 Dec 2008 at 5:43 pm 14

    More since I accidently hit the submit button:

    If you are boring your horse silly or they don’t have their mind on something or they simply see no point in it, they entertain themselves.

    Now the Hafie I spoke of I had only gotten 2 months previous he was the horse that sits down giving you a raspberry when you ask for circle game. I only worked in 20 minute sessions with him because he was so smart and had to be intellectually challenged all the time.

    The horse of my Uncles had been relegated to School Horse status from Outrider status because we needed him to be; he didn’t care for being just in a line following. If I put my saddle on him or any other outrider put their saddle on him…his whole demeanor changed. Ears went up and he became the proud, always ready to please horse he was before his relegation to School Horse status.

    Yes, he’s trying to tell you something. Like people they have different ways to get their point across.
    Some will throw you into next week, others will spook without fear, others will withdraw and act depressed or lame, and some others will resist what you are asking them to do and when they get away with it……are quite proud of that fact!

15. 

    Kathy Craigon 13 Dec 2008 at 12:02 am 15

    Hi Jerry,

    Sorry it took me a while to post but I wanted to reflect on both your tribute and article for awhile before I answered. By the way, love your choice of music for the tribute!! Kahn must have been an amazing teacher and partner. Each horse that crosses our path is special but it sounds like Kahn was that “extra special” horse for you. Sounds like he was pretty clever too!! I will be forever grateful to Kahn for teaching you the lessons that put you on the path to teaching students like me how to be better horsemen/horsewomen. Thank you Kahn!!

    As for your article, it was the first thing I read when I got the Savvy Times. I’ve re-read it several times since then and each time I get a little bit more out of it and get goosebumps at the end. Relationships are amazing things, whether it be human-human or horse-human (notice I put the horse first!!) you get out of a relationship what you put in. If you don’t give, you can’t get back – at least not for very long!! Your article has encouraged me to dig deeper into myself trying to be the leader and friend my horse needs. I’ve always heard the expression “that’s an honest horse” but never really knew what it meant. Thank you for enlightening me!! I now need to really pay attention to what my horse is trying to tell me!!! I certainly can’t have a relationship with my horse if I’m the only one doing all the talking (telling him what to do). I need to take a deep breath, stop, and listen to what he’s saying!!

    Sincerely,

    Kathy

16. 

    Kathy Eddyon 13 Dec 2008 at 12:53 am 16

    I enjoyed your article in the Savvy Times very much, it is such a tribute to you for forming the partnership with your horse, they don’t make it easy for us, we really have to prove ourselves to them and they are very honest about it aren’t they? I am waiting and holding my breath for that day to come. Keep up with your e mails and blog, I look forward to them. Hope to be at a clinic with you again soon.

17. 

    claudia parkhurston 13 Dec 2008 at 4:21 am 17

    Dear Jerry,
    First of all, God bless Bonnie for documenting your love affair with Kahn. And thank you both for sharing it with us.

    Your loving tribute to Kahn touched my heart and reminded me once again that love is always the answer. As you share your wisdom with us, Kahn continues to live through you as a great teacher. And you, my friend, are his excellent student. I know I am fortunate to be your friend and your student. I am sorry for your loss and I honor your ability to share the wisdom you gained from your relationship with your buddy,Kahn.

    With love and admiration,

    me

18. 

    Heidi Moseleyon 13 Dec 2008 at 5:20 am 18

    Dear Jerry,
    Was wonderful and moving to read your article in the savvy times. The care for the relationship and dignity of the horse ,as well as your students is evident in all of us you reach out too. Your thoughts about Kahns barriers to a deeper relationship, even while trusting you, were very meaningful to me. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation to keep in there, even if our leadership skills are in need of development. Love knowing you are out there succeeding Heidi

19. 

    Rehabon 13 Dec 2008 at 12:47 pm 19

    Hey there!

    Both the article and the message you’ve sent us were great, and I continue to learn from my mare, Honey (a little LB Arab/QH with a LOT of spunk!). I can’t watch the video, as I’m crying just thinking of my own first horse! Maybe later… My first horse (14-hand RB Introverted Arab)was my best friend, and I still miss him terribly! I knew what to do with him as I could identify with his horsenality easily. I had to put him down at 31 years old in 2007, and I’m trying very hard to work past the emotions left in his wake so that I can ahve a good relationship with the horses I have here. She challenges me constantly and is smarter than I am in many instances, and boy is she eager to show it! We get along, and she’s good enough to put up with me, and I’m thankful for that. Again, I’ll watch the video when I’m not an emotional mess. Thanks for sharing your story Jerry!

20. 

    Marciaon 14 Dec 2008 at 9:18 pm 20

    A very nice tribute to your friend and teacher. Thank you for sharing your story. Each horse in my life has been a teacher, even though I did not always understand what they were trying to tell me.
    Hopefully, I am learning to listen more effectively. Thank you Jerry for the inspiration.

21. 

    Hanaon 20 Dec 2008 at 1:01 am 21

    Hello Jerry, I have learned that horses do not lie. My horse Josie would blow-up if we asked her to trot. We learned that it was not behavior, but her telling us that she hurt and her feet were shod incorrectly, so her feet were uneven. I find it interesting that people don’t, or can’t, read their horse’s body language. With every thing that a horse does, horses are telling us a message. I think it’s great that you wrote an article on this subject. I find it outstanding that Khan thought to tell you that he had had enough of liberty by limping.

    With many thanks,
    Hana (age 11)

22. 

    Mary Annon 27 Dec 2008 at 11:54 am 22

    Jerry:

    Excellent cinematography on the video! Loved it! Excellent article on relationships! I think we all can relate to some degree. Most important after reading, and watching your story it has made me want to work harder on developing my relationship with my horse!

    Thank you!

23. 

    Janetteon 02 Jan 2009 at 7:32 pm 23

    How Inspiring! I find it comforting that we all do experience so many similar feelings, chanllenges, excitements and joys during our journeys with our four legged partners. Thank you for sharing; It adds comfort just knowing that me and my horse are not alone with our challenges and joys.

24. 

    Janis Getzon 07 Jan 2009 at 7:00 pm 24

    Hi Jerry.

    Thank you for sharing your story with Khan. It helps all of us to know that so many struggle with horses that are not so easy, and to realize that they’ve come to us to teach us the lessons we need to learn. Teaching horses has been a lifelong commitment to me, and has been pretty easy–until Jet came along. An LB Appendix Quarter horse gelding that I met because he was someone else’s problem. He was the reason for going to my first two-day Parelli clinic. He didn’t even belong to me at that time. My freinds wanted to know why I didn’t take my own horse. My answer? Because I can learn more with Jet. Long story short, Jet is my partner now. It has been an eye opening journey. Coming back from the Jacsonville, FL 2008 tour something in me changed. Perhaps attitude, perhaps a better listening ear. We played a relationship changing “catching game,” and, like Khan with Jerry, Jet finally let me all the way in (after 3 years). We are starting our level three journey, and he surprises me every week by his efforts and new desire to play with me. I guess I’m finally interesting enough for him!!!

    Thanks again,
    Janis

25. 

    Kseniaon 22 Jul 2009 at 1:01 pm 25

    Dear Jerry,
    I am new to your blog, but glad I found it. Very moving, inspiring video. I expected it to be a tribute to your horse only, but it was more universal than that. Thank you, and please thank your wife for me. An old Icelandic show and school horse was my teacher. Also I learned a lot from doing most of the ground and green work to develop an icey mare. Do you think Icelandics are a little different from other horses? They don’t usually respond as a prey animal as much, not having any natural enemies for a long tim. At least that is the conventional wisdom about them I have heard. My first horse of my own is supposed to be an 6 year old icey, but she has a difficult personality. I read the Parelli Natural Horse-man-ship book, and am trying the training with her. It is really helping. She bonded to me and wants to learn. When we have a bad day, she seems to try to make up for it the next day. Is that possible? One day, she did her routine at liberty, which was breathtaking, especially the circle game. Since I had her only a week, I thought it might be a sign of good things to come in the future. She also will follow me around at a canter, which is really fun, too. My dream is to have a safe, fun, all-around horse for the family, but I guess I have to give it time.
    I would like to find Parelli resources on the web, since I don’t have much money for videos, lessons and clinics right now.
    Thanks again, Ksenia

    PS: Since the other people were brave enough to admit tearing up with the video, I guess I should, too!

26. 

    Ellen Byerson 14 Sep 2009 at 10:20 pm 26

    Jerry, I just came across your blog. The video about Khan made me tear up. I got to thinking about how many equine friends I have.

    Also read your blog on keeping one’s dreams alive. People do think I’m kind of crazy to have so many horses but how can you have too many friends?

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