That simple phrase seems to have become my theme since then, both in my own horsemanship and in helping others raise their expectations. I have come to realize that my horses don’t give much because I don’t expect much of them, consequently I don’t ask for much. It becomes a vicious cycle that slowly grinds us to a halt.

At a few points during the summer Pat pushed me and my horse pretty hard and I never really questioned why he did it. But he explained to me that day that he pushed us hard so I could see what my horse was capable of. It was at that point the lesson became clear. He never pushed beyond what either one of us were capable but he did push us out of the usual. He had an expectation for both of us and we tried to live up to it.

To me an expectation is simply the picture we have in our mind of how something should or will be. As I have explained to many of my students we need to have expectations that are appropriate for ourselves and our horses. Much like we have expectations of a first grader and the skills that are appropriate for their grade level. However, as they grow and learn our expectations change. The expectations we have for a first grader are going to be different than a fifth grader and still different than a freshman in high school and so on. The same is true with our horses, we need to have realistic and appropriate expectations.

Sometimes in our endeavor to create a good relationship with our horse and not be too “direct line” we lower our expectations for ourselves and our horses. And on the other hand we can see in certain segments of the competitive world unrealistic expectations for horses, such as performing a sport before they have a foundation which can lead to disappointment, frustration, undue stress and finally force. But not having clear and appropriate expectations can be harmful in not living up to your full potential. We vacillate between two worlds, unrealistic expectations of our horses and no expectations. What we fail to see is the middle ground of appropriateness.

I challenge you to raise your expectations and ask for more and you may be surprised at how much your horse will give. As you raise your expectations of your horse, I want to challenge you again as students to “raise your expectations of yourself” and what you can accomplish in your own horsemanship.

Please leave a comment below.

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What is your dream?

Here is a lady that was unemployed and caring for her sick mother in a tiny village in Scotland. She has had a dream of being a professional singer since she was a little girl. To the outside world she looks foolish and a very unlikely prospect for a professional singer. From all that I read about her she had about given up on her dream.
Have you ever had a dream that others laughed at or worse you laughed with them at it? Have you ever wanted to do something or be something that made no sense to those around you? And sometimes it didn’t make sense even to you but still you were drawn toward it? Have you ever dreamed something so big that it was deemed foolish by those around you?

Do you have a dream inside of you that you have just about given up on? What is it?

What is your Dream?

Think of it right now as you watch this video and be prepared to be inspired to drag it out and dust it off and start to live your dream.

This video is a clip from the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent”, Britain’s  equivalent to “American Idol”.
Many of you may have viewed this video clip previously but take a look at it again in light of your personal dreams!

Watch the video here

Then return and leave a comment about your Dream.

I encourage you to Dream Big and never give up!

Lyrics to I Dreamed a Dream

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.

And still I dream he’ll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather…

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.

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Flashback…

…to a job I had over 30 years ago. I mowed the fairways of the country club golf course. I always hated to mow on Tuesdays because it was “Ladies Day”. That was the day I always had to dodge several balls that came flying my way. If the ball didn’t hit me or the tractor I would usually run over it with the mower and tear it to shreds. Not good for customer relations.

I had to ask myself…

Are women that much worse shots than men? No! I don’t think so! I do, however, think they were more concerned about hitting me than most men. Therefore, their focus was more on me than down the middle of the fairway. Naturally, the balls followed their focus and headed right towards me.

So many times we focus on where we don’t want to go, instead of where we do want to go and wind up exactly where we didn’t want to be in the first place.

I don’t know about you but that sounds a lot like our horsemanship journey at times. The results we’ve been looking for and working towards seem to get further away, without realizing it we are focusing on the wrong thing and as a result we wind up exactly where we didn’t want to be.

Remember, we determine our focus and as an outcome we determine our results.

Please leave a comment about how focus has affected your results.